My New Year's Resolutions have usually been pretty typical.... lose 10 lbs by Spring, quit swearing, do my visiting teaching, blah, blah, blah... So, This year I'm doing something different. A little all emcompassing. I need to do this....
My New Year's Resolution is... (drum roll please)...
Be True to Myself!!!!
Sounds simple right? Not for me..
First of all, What does "Be True to Myself" mean to me? It means that I listen to MY inner voice. I acknowledge my thoughts and feelings. I figure out why I am thinking or feeling a certain way. Go with the decision, thought, feeling that feels right and brings me peace. I know a lot of people already do this. I am a slow learner. I thought it was much more righteous to sacrifice my needs and wants for the happiness of others. Which is noble.... but leaves a person empty on the inside. Especially a mother, wife, and someone trying to be a good faithful person.
That doesn't mean I won't do anything I don't want to. It doesn't mean I will be selfish and only do for myself. WRONG! It means I will listen to my heart and soul. I will take time to take care of myself. I will be a better mom, wife, and person because I take the time to fill myself up.
I will also not give in to things that don't feel right, worthwhile, beautiful, or peaceful to me. I will give of myself out of my heart. I will not betray my very soul to please another again.
Something else I have to let go of is rigidity. I can't live my life peacefully if I'm afraid to make a mistake for fear of eternal damnation. I'm giving up the checklist and living by the bucket list. I compare the endless list of rules to The Law of Moses. It made it really easy for others to judge those not living the letter of the law. They even questioned the Savior's righteousness. I'm not going to "should all over myself" (Single Dad Laughing Blog). There is what was, what is, and what can be. That's it. NO MORE BEATING MYSELF UP!!!
If I truly live with God and love in my heart I don't need the should's and have-to's. The right things, choices, paths will be before me. God will lead me in the right direction without all the stress and guilt. One truth I know for me is that God meets me, all of us I believe, where we are. We are all the good ones, the rebellious ones, the stubborn ones, the loving ones.... to different degrees at different times or all at the same time.
I know I was kind of all over the place. Lots of stuff on my mind and in my heart. I'm determined to be me, to love others, to let others be themselves, to forgive myself and others, and be true to myself.
God Bless you in your own journey.... <3
