Self Worth

I posted this quote on my facebook page today...

"Our choices in life are made according to our sense of our own worth."

It has stuck with me all day. Going over what that means to me and my life. Honestly, I have had many times in my life where I thought I was just crap. My decisions during those times really reflect that.

When I got home from my mission... I was in a really bad place. Things ended badly for me there. It left me feeling very alone, unworthy, and hopeless. Even though what happened to me wasn't my fault. I felt like it was. I felt like I deserved it. So, I returned home a broken hopeless shell. I felt like I had no worth. My choices in the following months reflected that feeling. I slowly let go of all the things I had worked hard for, because I was so desperate for relief from the pain I was in. I ended up pregnant, depressed, sick, and alone. I thought there was no hope for me. I thought I was so vile in the eyes of God. Horrible to feel that way.

The choices I made during that period of my life were made out of desperation and hopelessness. I didn't care about myself at all. I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust God. All those choices..... changed the course of my life.

Maybe if I had understood the Atonement better. Or how precious my soul is to our Heavenly Father. I would've made better decisions. With time and experience we grow wiser (hopefully). I'm not such a black and white thinker anymore. Mistakes aren't fatal. I try not to put people on pedestals because they fall off easily. Not everything a Church leader says to me is Gospel Doctrine. Sometimes it is just an opinion of a well-intentioned person trying to do their best.

I hope that people can understand that everyone is worth something and loved in God's eyes. That we all have value. I hope my daughters know how much they are worth to me and to the Lord. I hope that they will live their lives making positive choices for themselves, because they know who they are and what they are worth.